His smile ~ Short Story

Get out of my mind, get out of my mind, get out of MY mind!" he clutched his chest, curling up against a wall while tears pricked at his eyes. It's been almost a year now, and he can't stop from still hurting. "i need to move on- i need to. it hurts so much. it's all i think about" The man glanced at his phone, a message lighting up. A name he's been repeating in his head, over and over. haunting his thoughts and betraying his trust. anytime he even thinks of love, all he thinks about is him. how it could've been if he didn't let go. wondering if he messed up somehow along the road. He tries so hard, really. being happy for the man he once loved, once called his. watching him gain new friends and interests as the two seem to slowly drift away. His long hair suddenly felt like pinpricks everywhere they touched, a weight on his head and shoulders that he had to carry everyday. 'Hair holds memories'. maybe its time to cut his hair then, finally split away and let himself heal... but he doesn't want to, he wants to remember, he wants to hold on, he wants to talk to him and see his smile, and watch him laugh no mater how much it stings. even if it drives the guy he loves to hate him. "i tried. i really, really did." anytime he met someone new, he'd mentally compare him to his light. Nitpick tiny things about them. and then feel guilty. "Do i really care about them? or do they just remind me of him..." Is a thought he's had way too often. and maybe its the second choice. he's drop anything for him, he'd die and kill others for him. he'd run away from it all just to see his face everyday, even if its under a bridge hiding away. Did he really care about anything else? (not gonna proof read)