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Dark Jokes bc I can. TW 4 some ppl

lukathebroccolikid • Dec 03, 2025 @ 3:53pm

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My grandpa has a heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo. I told my friend to embrace her mistakes….so she gave me a hug. Im I perfect? NO! Am I trying to be better? NO! My aunt used to say, “Slow and steady wins the race.” She d1ed in a fire. My friend told me to do whatever makes me happy. I’m going to m1ss him. Me and my friend were walking in a dark wood when they said. “Where are we going? It's getting dark and I'm scared.” Me, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone! The other day my friend asked me to pass the chapstick but I accidentally gave her the glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me. Why did Sam fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sam. When does a dad joke become a joke? When it leaves and never comes back. My grandpa told me my generation relies too much on technology, so I unplugged his life support. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you just need one to go twice. I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was just a kid. Everyday is April Fools Day when your life is a joke. How do you turn your salad into a Ceasar salad? You st4b it 23 times. Dark Humor is like food, not everyone gets it. What did Kermit say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Nothing. 🥦

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