hkwhbowugtb

today was special. i didn't really feel like myself today. my head hurt like a living hell and it was just yk special lemme play it out bc i dont have a life at home: so at the start of the day it was ok ig i was kinda awake but im never really awake. i fell alseep on the bus but thats normal. I didnt eat breakfast but i normally dont. so since i dont wanna like die (or do i ) (jk) (or is it jk) i ate a pack of crackers through out the day. that was all in 1st period in second period i was clapping back at people and felt confident but already getiing tired from masking normally i get tired in around 8th period) and i was slowly getting more and more tired and letting the mask go and just hunching over and stuttering and stuff. and i couldnt do my work bc all the sounds were to loud and the screen hurt my eyes it was good until 3rd period when everything set in. i had to do a mile run and i didnt drink water or eat the entire day so i was dying bc we had to get less than 15 mins. and i had a cramp like everywhere. and i just started to disassociate and just stop having that normal bubbly energy i normally have then in 4-5 it was math so i drew and just didnt talk really. i talked once when someone said bibble was better than pibble. and normally i dont talk anyway so its fine then in 6th i got a little bit of energy bc my bestie boo (one of the people that can charge my social battery) but it lowered by the end of class bc i was just tired. i had to take notes im never gonna use and the teacher wont grade my work Then it all went down hill in 7th when i just complete separated my self. i held my partners hand and when they sat on the bench i had to stand bc some kid was laying on the bench (i dont personally like them rn bc they said my bff was just a backup) and my partner had to tell them to move so i could sit and i was just sitting still just barely existing. i couldnt feel my feet and my head felt empty for once. and i just wanted to be held in my partners arms and cry. then when they blew the whistle i just walked to my line bc this week they decided to check lunch tables to see whos not sitting where there supposed to. that was the 15 mins of hell i went thro at recess and then lunch came and i didnt eat. i felt like if i ate i would just throw it up. i just sat there again, barely existing. someone said to take a nap but i didnt want to (surprisingly) and everytime i talked i felt like i wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. ( i did cry ) also in the hallway from lunch i was holding my partners hand and some "popular" kid came up behind us and went "OmG aRe YaLl DaTiNg???" and i just slowly nodded and when he left to go prob make out with his friend i went "hes built like a taco" and he kept pushing into us and when we got to their locker i went "this is why his parents dont love him". and yuh i was just to tired to say it to his face bc i didnt wanna stutter like i do when im this tired anygay in 8th period i was just done tears were streaming down my face and i was just done and my teacher just left me alone and im just now rember im gonna get in trouble i didnt put my desk back. but ya i was crying and just pretty much lifeless. i wrote my partner a note like i always do bc what would i do? the work? thats disgusting. and i dont know if they read it i think there mad idk anyway i gtg watch ranking videos and wait for my dad to get home