I had a mental break down ( this was just one day ago)

TRIGGER WARINGS ( sewers1ide attempt , p3do, @buse , SH,scars , ) READ AT UR OWN RISK so i was at my bsf/crush apartment for sleepover on monday me and her were watching sonic 3 after that she fell asleep at 12;30 or 1:00 and I was still awake I was awake fro 2;00 to 4;00 in the morning cuz I wasn't able to sleep again and after awhile my bsf/crush had waking up and from that point me and her were venting Abt things that happened in our childhoods and she told me that her dad was a P3do and she was taking away from her mom and grandpa for a week force to be with her dad sadly she was only able to tell her mom nothing only her grandpa cause her mom was very @busive to her and her sister sometimes and then I told her when I was a baby my biological dad tired to k1ll me and when me and my mom did have a house and we had to stay with me great grandma and then she started saying how she wanting to Yk and then when I heard that something broke in me and I started saying that I tried a month ago and last year and year before that I started yelling how I didnt want to be here any more then she started talking again and for a reason while she was talking I got up and walked to her apartment bathroom and I js found out there was a R@z0r in there and I managed to stop myself and then I said " HER NAME, I know why I came over here" I said then she got up "what you mean? sunny " (also I go by sunny) she saw me with my legs dropping down and my hands holding the sides of the door then I said " I.i didn't do it though.. I stopped myself" then she saw my fall to the ground and I started having a panic attack telling her I was sorry over and over again she then said " its okay your safe you gonna be okay" she start to comfort me then she had to help me walk to the couch we were sleeping (I slept on a matiress) and I drop down sitting there while she grabbed me some water my covering my face while I looked down at my chest remebering things then she came back with the water while she paced around while talking to me then she said " sunny your one of many people that cared for me and you know what your a great friend" she said as we sat next to each other on the couch ( she helped me again) and everything went back to normal but when she fell back asleep I thought abt even though we aren't together together we act like it and I thought abt it alot because she is asexual and I'm aroace I just dont know what to think anymore but I'm doing okay now .....