I was **this** close to ending it last night (TW)

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Disgusting absolutely disgusting. me and my 7 yr old sister were hanging out all day yesterday playing video games, doing perlers, and watching music videos. we were watching the diet Pepsi Addison rae video and we wanted to dress up and dance and she (my sister) asked to wear one of my bras and so I said that's fine and when my mom saw she said it was disgusting and inappropriate and I said its a popular song and she said "popular if your a slut" and she was yelling at me saying I was a pred and a groomer and saying "who tf puts a 7 yr old in a bra" even though she asked bc she thinks its cool and she said how I was trying to groom my sister than she went to smoke weed and I was crying to my sister saying how I js want to die and am so done with this and told her what my mom thought I was doing and my sister said please don't die and I felt rlly bad so I wasnt gonna try than my mom came back in and said I cant be alone with my sister right now and than I did cut a lot and than this morning I just came back from my docters apt today and I begged my dct not to tell ppl about my sh and she said she wouldn't but I need to up my douse of Lexapro to 20 mlg and I need to take atarax at bedtime every night bc I've been having trouble sleeping but I'm better now I think so yea
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