more poems

My heart beats fast, just hearing your name, Like a secret whispered, a burning flame. I watch you closely, from far away, Hoping someday, you'll look my way. I save your pictures, tucked out of sight, Dream of holding you, through the day and night. I know your habits, your favorite song, Hoping you'll see me, where I've belonged. But maybe this feeling's too much to bear, A love so strong, it fills me with fear. I need to step back, let you breathe free, My love's a shadow, it shouldn't be. . . . . A shadow falls, a heavy cloak, And whispers rise, a bitter joke. Inside my head, a storm takes hold, A story spun, a lie unfolds. It says I'm worthless, less than dust, A broken toy, betrayed by trust. It paints the world in shades of grey, And steals the light from every day. A pressure builds, a burning need, To find a way, to plant a seed, Of something real, a feeling true, To break the spell, to see me through. But words get lost, and voices fade, And in the dark, a choice is made. A fleeting sting, a moment's grace, To quiet down this frantic pace. A secret kept, a hidden shame, A whispered plea, without a name. The blood it flows, a silent tear, A fragile hope, dispelling fear. But afterwards, the guilt remains, A tangled web, of hurting pains. The reasons why, they still reside, Locked deep within, where shadows hide. This isn't strength, this isn't free, It's just a way, to bury me. To numb the ache, to stop the cries, But only builds, more clever lies. There is another way, I know, A path to heal, a place to grow. To find the words, to speak the truth, To rediscover, lost in youth. To reach a hand, to ask for aid, To not be by, this darkness swayed. To understand, I'm not alone, And seeds of hope, can still be sown. To learn to love, the skin I'm in, To let the healing now begin. To find the light, within the grey, And greet the dawn, of a brighter day. This journey's long, it won't be fast, But I can break, free from the past. And find a strength, I didn't see, The person I, am meant to be.