Photos vs the mirror really pisses me off

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I hate how I look in photos that I don’t personally take or can’t see. Cause I’m a little catfish, I admit it. I use good angles and positioning to gaslight myself into lessening the self hatred. But then someone just has to take a photo of me, and I never shut up and I get easily flustered and I make the most stupid reactive faces, and I look so ugly and then people ask why I don’t like photos of myself being taken, or why I hate smiling in photos. It’s cause it makes all the body dysmorphia worse and I just don’t want to deal with that. I’m happy looking bitchy and miserable in all photos. I’m so done with the way I look. I know I’m annoying and whiny. I’m sorry.
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