So... (tw: sh, swearing)

E
Over the past few days, things have been a bit...hard. Some stuff went down between me, Jebry, and my bf R. I'm torn between not wanting to lose Jebry and not wanting to lose R. My brain hasn't stopped fucking racing, I've barely slept, I've been stressed as fuck. I've had no motivation to do shit bc I've been stressing. I SH'd last night for the first time in 8 months. It felt so fucking good but I feel so disgusted with myself for it. The marks are gone now bc my blade was dull as hell but I can still feel and picture where I did it. I hate myself. I don't know what to do..
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