Ykw while I procrastinate let me tell a fun story!

Uh so I had discovered that I had a crush on this dude Henry and uh my stupid self thought "What about a secret admirer letter?? 🤩" "Good idea me! " and then I asked my (ex) friend to help me write a love letter to him right? Well uh... in the only class I had with her, he was in... and I was a little too loud talking about it.. I had my friend sneak the letter to him.. and he knew it was me from like second one- he sits in front of me in science and uh I watched his face go through like 10 different emotions😭 so when he asked if I wrote it I just say the truth and he goes "well uhh idk what to say to that" 🥀 and then the next week he just comes up to me and says "I dont have feelings for you" and I just go "Okay!" but deep inside I didn't blame him and I still don't for not liking me, I mean who would like the fat, nerdy girl who has mental issues? So like I go the next month with just having a crush on him, and i honestly am starting to see his flaws this week. Here's the problem, however. HE GIVES ME THE MOST CONFUSING SIGNALS EVER. Like I'll catch him staring at me with a semi smile, and then he'll move away from me if the only open note taking spot is next to me. I also hear from his friends that he talks about me all the time.. I find it hard to let go. Especially when all my best friends' dating lives are peaking rn.. I'm happy for them but I'm honestly kinds jealous... So yh thats my fun story!!😭😭🥀